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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types can care about. Today: Brett Ratner is as unpleasant as ever, perhaps even more so; Kristen Stewart just gets too into it sometimes, and Megan Mullally gets a gig.

In this fast-paced, ever-changing world, it's nice to know that at least some things stay the same. For example, popcorn director Brett Ratner is still a big old jerk. Sure he's going all classy by directing next year's Oscars ceremony, but no amount of gilded awards show glitz can overcome a quote like this, from a recent appearance on Attack of the Show in which he discussed actress Olivia Munn:

She was hanging out on my set of After the Sunset, I banged her a few times … but I forgot her. Because she changed her name … I didn’t know it was the same person. So when she came and auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off and she made up all these stories [in her book] about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And my shortcomings. She talked about my shortcomings. I get it. She’s bitter.

Terrific! Ratner then went on say that when he knew (carnally and otherwise) Munn she "wasn’t Asian back then," which makes sense because we all remember when Olivia Munn had that long and painful Be-Asianing procedure. That's just historical record. Rock on, Brett Ratner! [EW]

Speaking of unsettling sex things, Summit apparently had to reshoot the big climactic (heh) sex scene in the upcoming Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 because star Kristen Stewart was, uh, thrusting too much. Director Bill Condon says that there are certain MPAA rules about thrusting and that Stewart broke them. Thrusting rules! Man, the MPAA is America's most useful deliberative body, isn't it? Just always doing the stuff that matters. No word on what kind of thrusting Stewart's costar Robert Pattinson was doing, but the general rule, as made by the Tween Girl Association of America, is that no Robert Pattinson thrusting is too much Robert Pattinson thrusting. [People]

From thrusting teen girls to rusting old women, we have some first look pics of Helena Bonham Carter as Miss Havisham in Mike Newell's upcoming Great Expectations adaptation. She looks good, we guess, but a) isn't she too young for the role? and b) that dress is awfully Tim Burton-esque, is it not? If we didn't know any better we'd suspect that she just brought that thing from home. [Collider]

The underemployed Megan Mullally has joined the cast of the retooling Fox comedy Breaking In. That's the one with Christian Slater and the guy from The Loop and Reaper. So that's three actors who've struggled with TV shows over the past few years, all in one series together! Nothing can go wrong with that! Seriously, though, it's great that Mullally got a steady gig. Will & Grace residuals don't last forever, after all. (Actually they probably will.) [Deadline]

Because they haven't quite had their fill of weird, addled bonker-heads, the folks at Two and a Half Men have invited old deranged skeleton Gary Busey to come and do a guest starring role. He'll be playing a creepy specter who lives in the walls and hisses things at Angus T. Jones. Well, OK, no, that's not true. In reality he will be playing, fittingly enough, a mental patient! Good ol' Busey. Always up for a little self-teasing. (Ew? Ew.) [THR]

Interesting. The screenwriter of Philadelphia has been tapped to adapt ("Tapped to Adapt," a new '80s-style rap song about the entertainment industry, feat. Nikki F.) Curtis Sittenfeld's thinly veiled Laura Bush novel American Wife. The novel is certainly striking -- not exactly great in all parts but always mysteriously compelling -- and there's lots of great dialogue that can be just lifted right out, but the decades-spanning story might be hard to compress effectively into two or so hours. That said, we're curious to watch them try. [Deadline]

Unsurprisingly, ABC has gone ahead and ordered a full season of their silly-in-kind-of-a-bad-way fairytale show Once Upon a Time, as ratings have been strong and it's a nice Sunday 8 p.m. anchor. Somewhat more surprisingly, the Alphabet also gave a full order to sitcom Happy Endings. That's not so surprising ratings-wise, the show does well enough, it's just surprising that of all the white-people-in-relationships (well, OK, and a few tokens) shows that premiered last year, this is the one that held on. Better with You, Perfect Couples, Mad Love, etc.? All gone. But Happy Endings prevails and hangs on and then hangs on some more. Quite a feat. Though, some ratings credit is probably due to more than a few dudes seeing the title on their guide, not noticing what channel it's on, and clicking over to watch it expecting something far different. That's something dudes would do, right? [THR]

Elijah Wood, who is currently doing weird things on the weird and vaguely unsettling Wilfred, has been cast in an indie movie as a serial killer who works at a mannequin store. Boy, it's always the mannequin store employees, isn't it? Always the ones you absolutely suspect right from the very beginning. "Well this here murder sure is a doozy, Sheriff. Who could possibly have done this?" "Well, Deputy, there is a mannequin store right over there."  "Oh, OK. I'll go arrest him." Just the way these things go. It's very likely, in fact, that you will not get hired at a mannequin store if you don't have "Serial Killer" listed on your resume. Word to the wise! [Deadline]

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