As should come as surprise to no one, Charlie Sheen, the man behind eloquence like "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars" and "Can't is the cancer of happening," has written his own book of poetry. GQ's Amy Wallace unearthed the priceless compilation, titled "A Peace of My Mind"—a self-published volume of verse that Sheen wrote in the early '90s. GQ vows to continue posting excerpts on its Tumblr. For now, here's one titled "Heretic Proof":
By Charlie Sheen
Endive, undead, unbroken,
Relax, relate, rehab,
Pursue, persuade, persist,
Per-petuate [sic] your own death
By smiling a lot.
Supply, succumb, deny--everything.
Turtle, android, pain.
Endeavor, endless, end.
Read the full story at GQ.
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Kevin Fallon is a reporter for the Daily Beast. He's a former entertainment editor at TheWeek.com and former writer and producer for The Atlantic's entertainment channel.