Shirley Maclaine used her time in 1984 to acknowledge the privilege of being an artist:
A rags-to-riches story never fails to inspire waterworks, something Whoopi Goldberg showed us during her acceptance speech for Ghost:
And perhaps no one was more cognizant of the historical significance of their win than Halle Berry. Though perhaps excessively histrionic, the spirit of Berry's speech, an homage to all those who have had an uphill battle, is the epitome of an "Oscar moment":
With a better economy of words, Sidney Poitier's succinctly, but just as touchingly, addresses his momentous win:
4. Have a Great Opening Line
Speech 101: Always open with a joke. Cynics and curmudgeons will debate the validity of this advice, but if Barbra Streisand's acceptance speech is any indication, opening with the right one-liner could be as much of a career boon as the award itself:
To say that the "this is so much heavier than I imagined!" joke has become trite would be an understatement, but as Marlon Brando shows, once upon a time it was fresh material:
Julie Andrews became a national treasure with her opener:
And Dianne Wiest proved herself nearly as funny as her Oscar scribe Woody Allen with her ice-breaker:
5. Don't Read off Notecards
There's a Pavlonian groan that happens whenever an audience sees an award-recipient march up that marble staircase with a piece of paper in hand. It's as if they're suddenly shocked after spending more than four weeks as a nominee that there's a chance they'd have to actually say something. You're actors. Memorize it. Awards magnet Tina Fey is a shining example of the brilliance of a prepared speech:
As is Sacha Baron Cohen:
But if you are going to read something, it better be a joke. Emma Thompson, bring your notes to the podium anytime:
Steve Carell, you get a pass as well:
6. Acknowledge Your Fellow Nominees
It's just classy.
Dustin Hoffman, show 'em how it's done:
7. Smile, Dammit
You just won the Oscar.
Is there anything more irritating than watching someone mosey to the stage as if they're on a funeral march? Take lessons in enthusiasm from the adorable Ben Affleck and Matt Damon:
Lose yourself in the moment like Marion Cotillard, perhaps the only person in the world to still believe there are angels in LA:
The most beautiful people on the planet are at the Oscars each year. Why not make out with one of them?:
Or use your time in the spotlight to show off your pique fitness with some calisthenics?
Let the joy takeover your body like a goofy Italian man:
You just won the Oscar. Pumping your fists as you cross the finish line is more than appropriate, as Richard Dreyfuss shows us:
As Jack Lemmon exhibits, jubilation can be composed and still effective:
And if you're Julia Roberts, you have carte blanche to employ your trademark guffaw at will:
8. If All Else Fails, Keep It Short and Sweet
One of the best parts of old Hollywood was its efficiency. Just look and this brief, yet highly appropriate acceptance speeches from the likes of Grace Kelly:
And Audrey Hepburn:
Jane Fonda spoke volumes with her brevity, given common knowledge of her politics:
And the as-short-in-words-as-she-is-in-stature Ruth Gordon:
9. But If Really All Else Fails, Think WWMD: What Would Meryl Do?