Backup Detroit Lions linebacker Zack Follett told a radio interviewer that oft-injured franchise quarterback Matthew Stafford is playing "like a China Doll right now." Stafford, drafted No. 1 overall out of Georgia in 2009, has put up gaudy numbers when healthy, but recurring knee and shoulder injuries have limited him to just 13 starts in his first two seasons in Detroit.
Follettt has spent much of the past day walking back his comments (for all the usual reasons special teams players making the league minimum try to avoid antagonizing top draft picks with guaranteed contracts worth $41.7 million). In a call-in interview with Detroit's 97.1 The Ticket yesterday, Follett said he "used the china doll reference to describe [Stafford's] bad luck," not malign his teammate's toughness. Besides, even if Stafford is a China Doll, he's hardly the most fragile signal caller in the NFC North. "I'm glad we have Matthew Stafford instead of the Bears' quarterback [Jay Cutler]," declared Follett, "because he goes in and plays with separated shoulders and wins games."
Crisis averted? Not quite. Follett still has a few things he wants to get off his chest. After briefly addressing his Stafford criticism, Follett moved into a webcam discussion of how the female sex, Twitter, and every Detroit Lions beat reporter are all agents in Satan's employ. They made him say those fair and accurate things about Matt Stafford. It was a trick, and Follett was too blind to see it. A few of his more trenchant observations:
[The] media goes, gets something and runs with it and now, uh, I mean, arrows are just being [makes tiny arrow shooting sound]. Detroit wants me hung now, you feel me? And then, I mean, all the arrows come through Twitter...And some guy's hitting me up--one of them that really kind of stuck with me--saying, 'Zack, man, I thought you were a Christian? You're supposed to hold the tongue. Keep the tongue in check. Bad move. You need to apologize.'
Alright bro. I appreciate it. I apologize. But I feel like you're missing the point, man... I live in a spiritual realm. I'm aware of it. I'm aware there's a good and evil battle. lately Satan has been making his ploy of an evil battle. That's why you hear it's a spiritual war....I'm talking about ep and how we need to strap on the armor of God when Satan makes his ploy because he will come with flaming arrows. And these Twitter feeds are flaming arrows. You feel me? Just coming and attacking me. Writers that I've known who cover Lions football just, you know what I mean?...Satan wants me to respond back and attack through the flesh...and that's when I have the Holy Spirit revealing to me, 'Hey Z, this is Satan, man. You're going through a spiritual battle, remember? Because you are a light in darkness. You praise my name to the mountaintops. And he doesn't want that to happen, so he's going to attack you.'
So last night, he's been attacking me through lust. Trying to bring girls. He knows that's every guy's weakness. And I pray to God and with the power of Jesus Christ, I do no longer have that temptation through a trial God put me through. I went to bed last night not even tripping. You know what I mean? Off of lust thoughts. Praise Jesus, right? Well now, Satan's like, 'How else do I get this dude Z doing work? Alright, let me work through the media.' God showed me how Satan could take just a little thing--which I had no intentions of being wrong--take a little thing and twist it and see what a big thing can come out of it. But I laugh. Because God let me see it was Satan.
It goes on like this. Eventually, to the surprise of no one, Follett slaps himself in the face.
(H/T to Brad Biggs)
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to email@example.com.