Since Tiger Woods announced he will be making a statement Friday about his adulterous transgressions and future in golf, commentators have offered the star golfer unsolicited advice on what to say and how to say it. Woods will no doubt ignore the suggestions, but if he did look to the blogosphere for guidance, he would do well to avoid the Huffington Post. It would leave him thoroughly confused.
In the last 24 hours, no fewer than six HuffPo bloggers have penned posts on what Woods should do. To make things more confusing, they offer completely contradictory advice.
Tiger Woods Shouldn't Apologize... Unless the Price Is Right Richard Greener urges:
So, Tiger -- please don't apologize when you meet the press Friday. You have no teammates to whom you need to say, "I'm sorry." Golf is a solitary sport. Man against the course. Count the strokes. He with the fewest wins. If Nike insists you humble yourself -- and if they're making it worth your while -- I have no problem with that.
No, He Should Be Brutally Honest Mark Olmsted advises:
In your news conference Tiger, don't lie anymore. If you're still a dawg and want to remain a dawg, than say so. There is no shame in saying yes to all the women who want to sleep with you. Just do it as a single man. (Though, ironically, you'll probably find yourself saying yes a lot less often when it's no longer "forbidden.")
No, He Should Give a 'Power Apology' Mark Goulston, M.D. lectures:
In order for a person who has been betrayed to forgive, their 4 H's need to be responded to by the 4 R's: Remorse, Restitution, Rehabilitation, Request for Forgiveness.
No, He Should Shut Up and Play Golf Disgrasian sees only cons in giving a statement:
Tiger Woods isn't an elected official. He didn't do anything illegal. He didn't hire a hooker (though, really, some of his mistresses looked the part). And nobody accused him of rape. These are usually the reasons why a public figure makes a carefully scripted, flak-approved, televised confession of infidelity. So what exactly is Tiger Woods trying to accomplish here?
Well, Here's What His Statement Will Be James Moore pens a prototype:
"First, I want to apologize to the public and the fans and supporters of golf. I've been dishonest with my fans, myself, and most importantly, my family. I didn't know I had an addiction. I've entered treatment and believe I'm recovering. I am also trying to work things out with my family. I love my children and I am also working to save my marriage. This has been, and continues to be, a difficult time for my family and me. I realize I've dishonored all of the things I claimed were important. But I want to try again. I deserve a chance to try again. I ask for your forgiveness and understanding. But I am also a golfer. Golf is my life. It is who I am. And I cannot fully regain my life unless I am playing golf. So, I want to announce today that I am returning to the tour. Thank you."
Here's What It Should Be Jane Condon pens a sample speech of her own, then writes the 'real' version:
"I really am sorry though. I am so sorry I got caught! Next time I'll hire a look alike to throw the reporters off the trail. And I'll have more security standing outside my door. And I'll have adjoining rooms. And I'll put out the Do Not Disturb sign. And I'll have the girls sign confidentiality agreements. (I won't use protection. I mean, gimme a break.)"
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.