Mayo v. Miracle Whip

Commenter Brucds is pissed that I blamed mayo on his people:

And exactly how did moms make the potato salad in your house ? You can blame us for a lot of shit, but the enthusiasm for too much mayonnaise has long been officially "black."

This is, of course, false as commenter Ulysses notes: our community, the condiment ingredient of potato salad is actually Miracle Whip instead of Mayo. This is nearly universal to the degree that there are entire generations who are unaware that "mayonnaise" and Miracle Whip are in fact different. Many of us, never having tasted actual mayonnaise until adulthood, find its taste off-putting but still use the terms interchangeably.

Now, a quick aside. I'm always wary of essentialism, and in fact, a large point of this blog is to make fun of the whole concept of what's black and what's white. The idea of "white music" is laughable, just as "only white people eat mayo"  is laughable, just as white people fucked up the world for everyone else" is...oh, wait...

Seriously though, the whole conceit is hyperbole, and to show you how much, I have something to admit: It's true I was raised on hot sauce, but I was also raised on Hellman's--to the point that I actually hate Miracle Whip. That twang at the end is just disgusting. Indeed, on the list of things I'd change about black people, "usage of Miracle Whip" comes right after "addiction to Kool-Aid."

That's the whole point of the "white music" thing. For all my breaking on white people, I can't dance a lick or play a whit of ball. And I have a lot of company in that among my people. Well not a lot.... Certainly not as much as I would like...OK, so I'm the only brother at the party that can't do the Whop. You got me. Happy now?