Why are you people here?

I was just informed by some very important people that I have to write a mission statement for this blog by the end of business, today. I'll be honest--I haven't the slightest fucking idea what that would be. But you guys might, because, well, you kill a considerable amount of time and, let's be honest, brain-cells, scrolling through here. Why would you do such a thing? What do you get out of it? My hope is to pull something out of what you guys say here. Sorta like crowd-sourcing. But only for my benefit.

UPDATE: Closed comments. You guys were making a black man blush--no mean feat. Besides, Romulus wins:

"This blog aims to leverage cultural synergies, while moving rapidly to confront the exigencies of life in modern America in a provocative, streetwise and transcendantly classical manner. A core element of our cultural strategy is an open-ended, but engaged, dialogue with commentaters and critics, resulting a free and creative explication of the dynamics of an arguably post-racial America. Crucial aspects of the cultural experience on which this blog is predicated include: the place of sport in the modern consumer experience, hip-hop music reconsidered, the online RPG as social bonding device, the new tribalism, and literature: obsolescent construct or primal signifier"