You wouldn't make it in postracial America

Lemme be clear. If you have a black Barbie half-head doll, you need to cross the street when you see me. I'm a nice guy. I have a kind smile, but you need to know one thing about me: Ta-Nehisi is for the kids--and I will jack your ass.

Here's the thing, my beautiful niece (who makes me desperate for a daughter every time I see her) requested one.It took me a moment to get past the fact that thing was called a "half head." But anyway.  her parents, being black folks of this age, added the rejoinder--"The black one, please." I told Kenyatta that we should order it immediately since it could run out of stock. My partner is a beautiful woman with one fatal flaw--an unwavering belief that racism can be gamed to her benefit. I could almost see the gears turning in her head, "There's no way the black Barbies are gonna be sold out!"

Well, of course she goes to Toys R US this morning and the following convo ensues:

Kenyatta: "I need a Barbie half-head. Erm, a black one"

Black Dude working at Toys R Us: "We're all out of the black ones. But, we got plenty of the white ones!"

Kenyatta:  "They'll kill me if I show up with that."

Black Dude, nodding: "Yeah, I know right?"

Of course I knew this would happen. The math is simple. In Manhattan, the number of liberal whites who have no problem--indeed who would brag about--buying their kid a black doll almost certainly outnumbers the blacks who have no problem giving little Ebony a blond and blue-eyed Barbie.

The temptation to blame the White Man is strong--no doubt this is a part of his plot to further lower the self-esteem of this country's Aishas and Takieshas. But alas, I must be honest with myself and not shrink away from the true lesson--Negroes can no longer move on Negro time. This is postracialism for that ass. Get your weight up. Not your hate up.

UPDATE: Sorry guys, the thing is called a Barbie "Styling Head." Also I think this is apropos.