...specifically on how to get punched in the face at record speed:

Whenever a black nerd gets teased for thinking he's white, all he has to say is four words: "Is Barack Obama white?"

Leaving aside the fact that, according to John, he, well, kinda is,  this is the sort of retort that will get you slapped-up, beat-down and snapped-on for like a week straight. One thing I learned as a black nerd in West Baltimore: Get your tips on how to defend yourself from kids who know how to defend themselves, not from other black nerds....unless said nerds have figured out how to defend themselves.

UPDATE:
For the uninitiated, I offer this helpful dramatization of how John's theory may actually play out..

Nascent Black Nerd: [References some obscure episode of Battlestar Gallatica]

Daytwon: Son, why you always watching that white shit?

Nascent Black Nerd: Is Barack Obama white??

Daytwon: Baracka-these-nuts nigga!!!

UPDATE #2: In comments, Janine, shows us how to do this son:

A Black nerd, like any other nerd, has a backpack full of books. In 2nd grade I pulled a Falling Down at my bus stop, swinging my back pack around and was never messed with again.

And when he come up for air, or his boys start to stare
Just grab your Narnia and get the fuck outta there, yeah

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters@theatlantic.com.