Speaking of the X-Men. Barack Obama has been called every name under the sun--socialist, nigger, communist. anti-American--all of which may or may not apply. But recently I did the math and discovered the true nature of Barack Obama--He's a mutant bent on world conquest.

Think on it. Here is a black man who is evidently securing the votes of white people who don't like black people, who attracts massive crowds, and makes people faint at his rallies. Clearly he's using some Cerebro-like device to magnify his telepathic abilities. Commenters have noted that they just don't feel like they know Obama, and that's because they don't. Obama isn't just poised to lead Democrats to a victory--he's poised to do something that would bend the fabric of space-time, shaking the very foundations of the pundit-verse. There is only one explanation for all of this--Mutant Powers.

Oh man. Call in the Sentinels! Summon the Marauders! Is anyone writing this down? McCain needs to alert the free world!! He's tried everything else. Time to tell the truth--Barack Obama is Mutie Scum.

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