Bump for black paternalism

Alright white folks, here's your shot. You too can be portrayed as one-dimensional by the mainstream. You too can now have a go-to mouthpiece for lazy reporters and cable-news clucking heads. Your choices are indeed staggering. But there can only be one. Who will be megaphone-bearer?

UPDATE: Polls close tomorrow, white folks. You will be awarded your spanking new racial spokesperson at on Monday. I'd like to say that, thus far, I've heard all your voices and understand your strong desire to see Jeff speak for you. Even if it isn't expressed in poll numbers. I know it's expressed in your heart, and I would know because I've watched Seinfeld, played some Toby Keith and even considered a cucumber sandwich. Hey come on, I read Stuff White People Like too!