Tumor

A beautiful and hilarious girl chronicles her brain tumor, under the heading, "Brain tumors are funny, but they're not hilarious":

I think I’m going to stop calling it a “mysterious brain thing” and call it an “exotic brain sculpture.” It seems to work for strippers.

Her advice for precautions you should take before having massive seizures and losing control of bodily functions:

There is a good chance that the EMTs will cut your garments off of your body to get you naked and into a gown as quickly as possible. Now, right off the bat this sounds like a regular Friday night, but instead of restraining you and ravaging your naked body, the EMTs plan on restraining you and loading your seizing body with Dilantin. And because it’s probably inappropriate to let a hot-bodied 25 year old female seize naked in restraints, they’ll get you into the gown pronto. My favorite red dress was cut right off of my body without my consent (again, it starts out hot) and that dress was irreplaceable. So, if you feel that massive, uncontrollable seizures are on the way, please throw on some dude’s tighty-whities, some old black sweatpants, and whatever hideous tee shirt you can find lying around. I have a very patriotic “These Colors Don’t Run” tee shirt that I wouldn’t mind shitting on.

(Hat tip: Edith Zimmerman)

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