Letters From The Front Lines: Angry Bird Edition


Let me say I agree entirely with the judgments rendered above, except I would reverse the last two birds. I rather enjoy the boomerang toucan. I'm way less impressed by the owl-looking bird with the lame-ass bombs he drops. Chris Riebschlager imagines dispatches from the endless war between birds and swine:

My Sweet Adeline,

Our fortunes have taken a turn for the worse this week. The enemy has now taken to placing boxes of TNT inside their own camps. Every night, I am haunted by visions of innocent green pigs senselessly killed by these horrific explosions. They're using their own people as human shields, Adeline. What kind of god would allow such beastly, immoral acts? Sometimes I can't help but think that hurling ourselves at the enemy camps is senseless, possibly even insane. But I am just a simple soldier, one of many birds that do certain things when tapped. I'm just following orders.

I will be with you soon,
Blue Bird

(Image from The Oatmeal)