A last stand, a chemically fortified stasis is not an unreasonable position. Those who go beyond the medicinal, who resort to camouflage and surgery, however, have reserved for them a special circle in Hell. There is something refreshing and honest about the proudly Bald Man that these cowards lack. Look at Microsoft’s selected synonyms for bald: plain, blunt, frank, direct, straightforward. They might as well thrown in a picture of Michael Chiklis in any character he’s played since The Shield. We admire how Bald Man makes the best of what, to the haired, is a bad situation. He has met the enemy and they are his.
There is no such grace for those of us wandering in a somewhat haired purgatory. We are Matt Lauer; we are Guido del Duca on the Second Terrace. (Second Dante reference!)
I too have a tiny beleaguered tufted island still clinging to the top of my forehead. It has no reinforcements and looks sublimely silly. My barber now routinely shaves it off along with the rest of my pate, which remains a sad dying paddy-field of wilting follicles.
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