"I was sober for five years a long time ago and was just bored out of my tree. It's inauthentic -- it's not who I am. I didn't drink for 12 years and, man, that first one [drink], Dan. Wow... [There were] rumors that I've had problems with crack, so it just came out of me like poetry. I said stay off the crack, and I still think that's pretty good advice, unless you can manage it socially. If you can manage it socially, then go for it, but not a lot of people can, you know?" - Charlie Sheen.
Well, at least he's honest. But he's no DMX, that's for sure, in what remains a classic example of an interview that's actually, you know, real. (If you haven't read the whole DMX interview. It's seriously hilarious.)