A reader writes:

You asked: "If your concern is children, why does the process by which a couple obtain a child matter more than the quality of that child's upbringing?"

Actually, considering the processes reveals an interesting point: children being raised by gay parents are always better off than any practical alternative available to them. If the children were adopted, then their new gay parents must be an improvement over the natural parents from whom they were removed (or over foster care). If the children were conceived by artificial means (surrogacy, etc), then that's better than their alternative - not even existing!

People who oppose gay marriage because children should be raised by their natural mother and father make it sound as if gay couples are stealing children away from perfect situations, when in fact gay couples are always an improvement over some existing imperfect situation. Their whole argument, in fact, is confusing gay parenting with gay marriage.

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters@theatlantic.com.