Unpopular Proverbs

Teddy Wayne has some fun. Dish faves:

Why put off 'til tomorrow what you can

and

A penny saved is a penny earned, excluding all the pennies you dump in a jar for an eventual trip to a Coinstar machine, but the prospect of carrying a jar of loose change that's top-heavy with pennies to Food Emporium to earn $12.47 is so depressing that you never do it and the jar remains unused, so, really, sometimes saving pennies actually ends up making you lose money.