Bristol's Fairy Tale


by Chris Bodenner

Chris Rovzar gets in the mindset of the millions of teen girls for whom Bristol is trying to be a role model:

Thought: What if I can't raise this baby alone?
Well, What Happened to Bristol? Apparently, having a baby out of wedlock can make you famous, and give you a contract with Candie's. And apparently your family, because of public scrutiny, will back you up to the hilt, helping you care for your baby as if it is everyone's child. And your previously cash-strapped mom might also become a singular national industry and make like $12 million the year after your baby is born! So no worries there, certainly.

Thought: But what if I still love my bad-boy boyfriend, after all that?
Well, What Happened to Bristol? Well, Bristol still loved Levi. And lo and behold, Wasilla's resident brainless thug came around! After a year of trash-talking her family and doing everything he could to destroy Bristol's mother, Levi texted one day to say he loved her! And just like that, they got back together. Before they even talked it over with their parents, they were on the cover of a magazine. Posing like the beautiful family they were always meant to be! She landed the bad boy!

Gawker chases rumors of a reality show in the works. Lord let it be true.