You'd have to have a heart of stone not to applaud the president's attempt to ensure that gay spouses have access to one another in hospital settings. Equally, the dynamic leaves me queasy. There is something about the well-meaning liberal mind that is often admirably eager to help the needy, but balks at offering the recipients what we really want: simple equality. The latest move - giving Obama an easy win, the gay lobby a role in mediating the transaction - perpetuates the victimology that sustains the Democrats and their interest groups.

If we had marriage equality, we'd need no-one's compassion. We'd just be able to live our lives. Why won't the president help us do that?

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