A reader writes:
I don't mean to pry, but I know you and your husband were married in Massachusetts. I'm wondering, will DC recognize your marriage, or will you have to go through the process again?
Either way, congrats on this auspicious day. Marriage advocates across the country should rejoice. I'm a heterosexual woman and closet romantic. I looked at many of the photos from the day simultaneously overjoyed and wondering if hetero marriages in DC have already begun to disintegrate from this grievous affront.
Our marriage was already recognized by DC before this wonderful day. Now for the joint tax returns! Except we file a married return for state taxes and then have to say we are total strangers for the federal returns.
Even though we have been together for six years, shared a household for five and a half years, pooled our finances for five and a half years and will be celebrating our third wedding anniversary this summer, we are total strangers as far as the federal government is concerned. And if the federal government recognized our marriage, I would have been an American citizen three years ago. In fact, if I had married a longtime female friend 20 years ago, I would be a long-standing citizen right now. (Yes, a heterosexual marriage would have voided the HIV ban automatically for the past 22 years.)
What does the federal government call a legally married man who has paid taxes for twenty-two years and has a PhD, and a job? A faggot.