by Chris Bodenner

A reader writes:

Hard to beat Dwight Yoakam's "Santa Can't Stay" for a depressing xmas song.  It's one of my very favorite xmas songs for its Jerry Springer lurid charm.  Story is, kids' dad dresses as Santa and goes to visit kids at ex-wife's house and ex-wife throws him out. Here is the only version I could find online for free.  I don't think it warranted a video.

Lyrics after the jump:

Cold tears fall from his eyes
As he turns into the night and walks away
Lucille runs outside
Just to see if there might be a sleigh
Little Bobby stares down
At the plate where cookies still lay
And tries to understand
Why momma said Santa can't stay

Momma said Santa can't stay
Said she told him that twice yesterday
Then a car just like Dad's
Pulled out and drove away
After mom said Santa couldn't stay

They both heard him coming
Saw Mom run down the hall and holler wait
Doug you're drunk don't come inside
I'm not joking I've had all this I can take
He threw a present really hard
That almost hit Mom's new boyfriend Ray
And yelled ho-ho lucky for you she's here
And said that Santa can't stay

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters@theatlantic.com.