Depressing Christmas Songs, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

A reader emails Tom Waits' "Christmas Card From A Hooker in Minneapolis" and the words.  The gloriously grim words, after the jump:

hey Charley I'm pregnant


and living on 9-th street


right above a dirty bookstore


off cuclid avenue


and I stopped taking dope


and I quit drinking whiskey


and my old man plays the trombone


and works out at the track.

and he says that he loves me


even though its not his baby


and he says that he'll raise him up


like he would his own son


and he gave me a ring


that was worn by his mother


and he takes me out dancin


every saturday nite.

and hey Charley I think about you


everytime I pass a fillin' station


on account of all the grease


you used to wear in your hair


and I still have that record


of little anthony & the imperials


but someone stole my record player


how do you like that?

hey Charley I almost went crazy


after mario got busted


so I went back to omaha to


live with my folks


but everyone I used to know


was either dead or in prison


so I came back in minneapolis


this time I think I'm gonna stay.

hey Charley I think I'm happy


for the first time since my accident


and I wish I had all the money


that we used to spend on dope


I'd buy me a used car lot


and I wouldn't sell any of em


I'd just drive a different car


every day dependin on how


I feel.

hey Charley


for chrissakes


do you want to know


the truth of it?


I don't have a husband


he don't play the trombone


and I need to borrow money


to pay this lawyer


and Charley, hey


I'll be eligible for parole


come valentines day.