Depressing Christmas Songs, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

A reader emails Tom Waits' "Christmas Card From A Hooker in Minneapolis" and the words.  The gloriously grim words, after the jump:

hey Charley I'm pregnant

and living on 9-th street

right above a dirty bookstore

off cuclid avenue

and I stopped taking dope

and I quit drinking whiskey

and my old man plays the trombone

and works out at the track.

and he says that he loves me

even though its not his baby

and he says that he'll raise him up

like he would his own son

and he gave me a ring

that was worn by his mother

and he takes me out dancin

every saturday nite.

and hey Charley I think about you

everytime I pass a fillin' station

on account of all the grease

you used to wear in your hair

and I still have that record

of little anthony & the imperials

but someone stole my record player

how do you like that?

hey Charley I almost went crazy

after mario got busted

so I went back to omaha to

live with my folks

but everyone I used to know

was either dead or in prison

so I came back in minneapolis

this time I think I'm gonna stay.

hey Charley I think I'm happy

for the first time since my accident

and I wish I had all the money

that we used to spend on dope

I'd buy me a used car lot

and I wouldn't sell any of em

I'd just drive a different car

every day dependin on how

I feel.

hey Charley

for chrissakes

do you want to know

the truth of it?

I don't have a husband

he don't play the trombone

and I need to borrow money

to pay this lawyer

and Charley, hey

I'll be eligible for parole

come valentines day.