Alex Knepper attempts to answer and runs aground some generalizations:
I constantly have wondered exactly why so many other gay men have been utterly unable to understand why I simply do not care much about the marriage issue. Why is it that, to me, the Afghanistan war and an economic recession seem to be obviously of greater national relevance, but not to the gay left? The answer lies within the state-as-value-arbiter hypothesis: we are simply not seeking the same thing. I endorse same-sex marriage because I want greater access to inheritance rights and hospital visitation. They, on the other hand, are looking for the validation of their existence.