I think this is where the gay/black metaphor breaks down. Gays live around straight people in the most intimate ways. Their parents are likely straight. They likely have straight brothers and sisters. They go to school with straight kids. It's true that black people are forced to know more about white people than the reverse, but at least in my case, there's a lot we don't know, because of proximity. I say this to say, in being one of those kids, as an adult, it's an incredible learning experience. After spending all of my education in a sea of black folks, I've spent almost my entire journalism career as an "Only" or one of, literally, a couple.