A reader writes:
You may not be a Democrat, but you've got the manufactured outrage down pat. I wasn't there, but it seems to me that the plain implication of Obama's joke is that he has failed to keep so many promises that he's not sure which promise is at issue. In other words, it's self-deprecation. He's mocking himself, not the protestors.
Obama's joke at his Beverly Hilton fundraiser seems, to me, to be a reference to how many different agendas were motivating the small protests outside.
The LA Times has one article about the gay rights protest, another about a general protest against the wars and a reader comment in one article suggests there was also an Armenian protest. Unless you're drawing your understanding from something other than the NY Times piece, I don't think it's at all clear that Obama was referring to a specific gay protest and joking about the nature of his gay-issue promises. He seemed to be poking fun at how many different groups, representing different interests, were outside.
He may be a serious disappointment in his lackadaisical approach to gay issues, but he doesn't seem callous.
The video doesn't make it seem so bad, and the referent is clearly broader than just gay rights. Maybe I jumped too soon.