Marriage equality came to the heartland a few minutes ago. The court found unanimously that the ban on marriage for a small minority of citizens violated Iowa's constitution. Analysis to come. for now, though, a human, not a legal argument. If you want to understand why some of us are adamant that only civil marriage will do, this video might help. It's of a woman recovering from the premature death of her wife. If you believe her grief is worth less than a man's grief for his late wife, then you should oppose marriage equality. I support it in part because this widow's grief is as real as her love, and because the kind of commitment that marriage means transcends the boundaries of gay and straight into the zone of being fully, awfully, human: