Dave Barry is covering Beijing:
First you go to the hotel front desk, which will be staffed by 17 people. This is one of the nice things about China: There are always plenty of people around to help. For example: In some men's rooms, there are attendants whose sole function, as far as I can tell, is to direct you to the urinals. You walk in, and there's a guy, and he makes this gesture toward the urinals, which are roughly two feet away, his point being, ''Here are the urinals.'' And no, you do not tip him.