A reader writes:
Thanks for linking to the Out article.
Like the author and many men he knows, I found myself addicted to Manhunt (and silverdaddies) a few years back, going home and logging on and . . . waiting. Staring at the screen. Waiting for someone to want me (which is at the core of it). But after years of being single and after tiring of this useless addiction, I determined that a committed, long lasting (lifetime) relationship is what I wanted. I made the effort, and I found it.
Being coupled is not easy.
It's much easier to just go online and play internet footsie with a dozen men, but everyone I know who fell into the online maelstrom was as repelled by it as they were attracted. I'm much happier now, even with all the challenges that a relationship brings, than I was getting reassurances that I was hot at that moment or that someone I never met before and would never meet again wanted me for a few hours. While the author may get some flack from the sexual libertarians, even they will know in their heart of hearts that quick sex cannot compare to waking up with someone you will wake up with until one of you dies.
I'm not sure that worrying about the psychic effect of online sex is anti-libertarian. I'm sure Michael Gross thinks it should be legal to do such things. Libertarianism does not mean refusing to understand the consequences of our choices in a free society. It's about allowing those choices to take place.