Wedding Jitters, Ctd

To say I was moved by the avalanche of emails about my wedding jitters would be an understatement. I feel a lot better having read scores of good wishes and advice and reminiscences. Thanks so much. This may be the best advice:

Sorry, it's not about how to relax. You're fucked there. That's just the way it works.

However, here's the best advice I ever got for my wedding:

Take 5-10 minutes at some point during the reception, find Aaron, grab two glasses of champagne, and walk away with him. Find a nice spot to sit, enjoy the drinks and each other, and as you do, survey all the people, family and friends, who have come to celebrate with you. Remember them all.

The rest of the night will be a blur, but you'll remember those 5-10 minutes, and all of those people, and that moment, forever.

Will do. And this is the toughest love:

You're nervous? Of course you are. You're submitting your autonomy to the State in exchange for legal recognition of and protection of your relationship. You're entering a contract to regard your beloved as family, a contract that (some day in your future) will supersede love and affection. You don't really know what marriage is about until the day you have a fight that so bad the only reason you stay together is because you're married.

The storm will pass. You'll both still be there, still married, and glad you are, and you'll say "Oh, that's what the big deal about this piece of paper is all about."