A reader sends in the Walt-Mearsheimer version:
Q: How many neocons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Clearly, it is not in the U.S. national interest to invest exorbitant resources in new light bulbs, as light-emitting diodes are more energy efficient alternatives than either filament or fluorescent light sources. Indeed, our irrational support for light bulbs has brought down the wrath of environmentalists worldwide, who have cited excessive electricity use in the United States as their primary grievance against us. If not for the influence of a well-funded Light Bulb Lobby, the United States could pursue a more balanced policy in pursuit of energy efficiency.