A Republican Savior

McSweeneys found him:

ZOMBIE RONALD REAGAN

Pro: Probably the most Reaganesque candidate available; if stoked with the brains of the living, should operate in an acceptable fashion.

Con: Long-dead eyes lack that magic twinkle; inhuman groans negatively impact "Great Communicator" status.

More pithy candidate assessments here. My favorite:

NEWT GINGRICH

Pro: Well known.

Con: See above.