I explained. She's fine. But I forgot about this. Not a good idea to tell your mum (and yes, she's English so I'm sticking to the vowel) that two people were shot on your block last Saturday afternoon. That doesn't happen much in East Grinstead. A reader chimes in:

My mom told me recently she thought I should get a storage unit. I foolishly bit and asked why. She said because "you have so many books, and what if there's a fire?" Because, as we know, things spontaneously combust all the time.

Well, you never know.