Longing For Faith
A reader writes:
I have always read your writings about faith with interest, but your debates with Sam, seem about as fruitful as a sighted man trying to get a blind man to 'see' orange. Convicted atheists refuse to believe what they will never see. Us agnostics, while blind, are willing to concede that there may be such things as color, but have become resigned to the fact that we'll never see them.
I've never had faith, and I've always wanted it. My father is a Baptist minister (the liberal New England kind) and I've seen the joy that belief has brought to people. I've heard stories of 'miracles' from people I know and trust. I've been through stage 3 cancer and a year of debilitating treatment. I actually thought, at the beginning of my cancer odyssey, that the upside might be some sort of revelation. A brush of death might bring my road to Damascus experience. Instead, I just had a lot of uncomfortable feelings about all the people who told me they were praying for me. I've always wanted that peace and sense of security that people who put their trust in God and Christ seem to have. But it's never been there. Ever.