The U.S. government has started airstrikes in Syria against the Islamic State, and Jon Stewart and The Daily Show team spent last night's show bracing for war.
"It was the iPhone 6 of wars!" Stewart said, mocking two CNN anchors' anticipation. "It's expensive, a little bigger, little more unwieldy than you thought it was gonna be. Gonna be at least a two-year commitment. Kinda feels like you just f*cking got the last one."
Stewart and his team spent a segment breaking down the bits and pieces of news we've gotten over the past day or so. For example: Four Middle Eastern countries are also assisting the U.S. with airstrikes – Jordan, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and Bahrain. Qatar is reportedly also helping, but not through airstrikes.
"What, are they catering?" Stewart said, bemused. "Are they giving ISIS the silent treatment? And then when ISIS is all like, 'Qatar, what's wrong, are you mad at me?' Qatar's like, 'No, it's cool.'"
Another new bit of info: ISIS called Secretary of State John Kerry an “old uncircumcised geezer," to which Stewart couldn't disguise a laugh.
"That's so specific," he said. "I can't believe ISIS has infiltrated John Kerry's pants!"
Watch the clip below to see Stewart's full range of jokes about the new war – if you want to call it that. As he pointed out, the White House is only calling this a set of counterterrorism actions that have been used "successfully" in other instances.
"Successfully?" Stewart said with a half-hearted laugh. "Whatever floats your boat."