I’d say my most consistent complaint about Under the Dome is that everyone’s always forgetting that they live under a damn dome. Oh sure, sometimes people go on about the dome wanting them to do this and that, and Julia and Jim have based their laughable political careers on it, but it feels like the writers are now officially sick of the dome. So, how’s everyone enjoying Into the Tunnel? Because I think it sucks. I sure as heck didn’t settle into my couch on a Monday night to watch a bunch of poorly-lit antics in a rocky tunnel. But that’s what I was stuck with.
Oh sure, they tried to appease the audience with some laughable C-plot about sandstorms and a weather vane, and Big Jim got to save the day with a mist dispersal machine. No, I didn’t pay much attention because I know when I’m being patronized to. The dome is yesterday’s news. Everyone’s either trying to bring it down through child murder (Sam) or move on to the Zenith tower in another city (Egg Girl and the Dome-ettes). Who even cares about that meteorite from the ‘80s or Pauline’s crazy paintings!
So there’s a tunnel inside of that locker that Sam immediately explores, and then there’s some business with rubble (because this is a TV show and any tunnel anyone enters on a TV show always immediately collapses) so Sam is stuck down there, and Barbie too. And Barbie figures out that Sam is a total creep who murdered Angie because Pauline’s diary said the dome teens had to die to bring the dome down. Note that Sam has never mentioned Pauline’s diary as being critical of the dome itself. He’s the one making that leap. And he’s also making the leap that Pauline would be fine with the murder of her only son because she scribbled some nonsense in a Moleskin in the ‘80s.
Sam is an idiot. I’m glad he jumped over that ledge. I’m sad that he was probably rescued by some powerful tunnel magic, but at least I don’t have to look at his stupid face anymore. His best moment last night was explaining his whole plan to Barbie. “You would even kill Junior?” Barb asks, quite reasonably. “At some point I'll have to! I'll finish it and I'll finally be free! Then, I'll kill myself. Or you can kill me.” Hey man, whatever works, as long as we’re rid of you.
I still am convinced that Sam is off to the Zenith tower, but in case you forgot that’s a plot point, the Egg Teens brought it up this week by using their Care Bear powers to levitate the egg out of the lake and make it glow pink and shoot stars everywhere. There’s some nonsense going on with Norrie and Joe, who apparently love each other, and Egg Girl getting in the middle of all this. This show isn’t called Under the Teen Angst either. Norrie and Joe can speak different languages for all I care. The teens should exist only to hold eggs and look at each other funny. As much as I ragged on Sam for wanting to axe-murder them all, they could probably do with some chopping up. The only problem: he killed Angie, but Egg Girl just revived to take her place. So what power does Sam really have?
I should be given a gold medal for making it this long into the review before noting that Julia got her hands on some dynamite this week and used it, kind of correctly, even though genocidal maniac Rebecca was on hand to help her with the explosives. One assumes this is one of those “stopped clock is right twice a day” situations. Julia even asked the question “This is the right call…isn’t it?” aloud and wasn’t contradicted, despite the huge amount of evidence against that judgment. I wish she’d blown Barbie to smithereens, but maybe she’ll screw up next week, which seems to involve some base jumping. God, we need to get out of this tunnel and back under the Dome. Back to basics!
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