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Today in celebrity gossip: Lea Michele and Chris Colfer have both been hacked, Miley Cyrus got a poignant new tattoo, and Tyler Perry now owns the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?"
One quick thing before we begin: Can Twitter please be destroyed? Other than its occasionally helpful role in, say, political uprisings, Twitter should be destroyed. If a political candidate ran on the platform that he or she would unplug Twitter entirely, then that person has my vote, because get rid of Twitter. Nobody needs to spend a cumulative four hours a day scrolling through ten thousand bad opinions and fourteen thousand comedians workshopping their brands. "Just mute those people," you're probably muttering under your breath right now before reflexively refreshing your mentions. And fair enough. I have no response to that. You win. Anyway, Twitter should probably be destroyed and here is another big example why: Actors' Twitter accounts are allegedly being hacked and the hackers are tweeting out fake career announcements. Like, a few days ago Glee's Chris Colfer "announced" via Twitter that he had been fired from Glee "due to personal issues" and it caused a big stir, or at least as big a stir as anything related to Glee can possibly cause these days (just FYI Glee is a show that airs on Fox sometimes). But lo and behold, hours later he deleted that tweet and replaced it with this:
Apparently I missed quite the INTERESTING day while aboard my flight. I'm just glad I wasn't "killed by a fruit truck" again.
— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) July 4, 2014
Whoops! Chris Colfer been hacked! (Assuming we believe Chris Colfer. We believe him, right? He hadn't been bullied and/or bribed by Fox to change his tune in order to avoid bad press? No? Okay, just checking.)
But then, dang, it happened again, this time to Lea Michele! The day after Colfer's hoax, somebody posted a tweet to her account announcing that she was pregnant with "dating lifestyle coach" Matthew Paetz's baby. But she quickly deleted that tweet and replaced it with this one:
I was HACKED! Guess @chriscolfer and I should have known better then to make our passwords the names of our cats:) ��
— Lea Michele (@msleamichele) July 4, 2014
Touché! (Assuming we believe Lea Michele, right? That she was hacked for real and she wasn't just trying to somehow bolster Chris Colfer's credibility?) Anyway, Colfer finished off the convo with this charming missive:
.@msleamichele but apparently I'll be free if you need a babysitter!
— Chris Colfer (@chriscolfer) July 4, 2014
I don't know, guys. People are allegedly hacking the Glee stars' Twitter accounts for some reason. BUT WHO? Who could possibly be doing this? Is it somebody close to the actors? Here are some possible suspects:
- Naya Rivera, who has had beef with Lea Michele in the past
- Dianna Agron, who might just be bored these days
- A raccoon
- Lord Nikon or Acid Burn or ZeroCool or maybe the gay Asian cyber-punk twins from Hackers
- Chris Colfer and Lea Michele, drunk on Fireball shots and playing pranks on each other whenever the other one leaves the room
- A different raccoon