Today, Vox reassured us that Kidz Bop — the all-child band that covers pop songs and is, believe it or not, still a thing — has not recorded a version of Chris Brown's song "Loyal." This would not be appropriate because Kidz Bop boasts singing "kid-friendly," versions of pop songs, and even a modified version of "Loyal," which boasts charming lyrics like "Why give a bitch your heart when she'd rather have a purse? Why give a bitch an inch when she'd rather have nine?" would still be a misogynistic song originally recorded by a man who allegedly violently assaulted his girlfriend.
Apparently, the confusion was caused by a Vine featuring a number of Kidz Bop-y kids singing portions of the song, posted last week:
The video sent some on Twitter into an anti-Kidz Bop fury:
"I said 'ooooooohh, that girl ain't loyal'." Can Kidz Bop be destroyed?!— URU. (@xoBrittanyBee) June 11, 2014
They made a kidz bop song outta "loyal." I'm giving up on everything.— Ryan Lebo (@omgzzryann) June 11, 2014
kidz bop did a remix to hoes aint loyal.... im done.... so damn done— gabriella eliz (@ellabella1792) June 11, 2014
Georgia-based Matty B has posted dozens of videos of pop song covers to YouTube, featuring pre-teen suburban interpretations of hit songs. Here is singing OutKast's "Ms. Jackson." It's uncomfortable: