EHarmony Doesn't Really Know What It's Like to Date a Reporter

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If eHarmony's "15 Reasons to Date a Reporter" is representative of the site's dating advice, then you should cancel your membership. The story lists 15 very appealing qualities for a significant other, and then mistakenly associates them with journalists. Since one of the traits is "reporters have a great 'b.s. radar,'" it seems fitting that many reporters (journalists, bloggers, etc.) felt the need to point out how wrong this is.

"Has eHarmony ever met a reporter," asked BuzzFeed's Rosie Gray. "15 reasons to date a reporter (none of them are true)," tweeted Alejandro Lazo of The Wall Street Journal. "A list of reasons why reporters are great to date (you know, except for that dying industry thing)," tweeted Adam Nagourney of The New York Times. Not everyone felt strongly against the list (apparently some people don't want to be single forever) but the general consensus was that it could use a rewrite. For example:

Reasons to date a reporter: 1. You hate yourself 2. You love watching people check their phones 3. You are also a reporter

— Sam Baker (@sam_baker) June 5, 2014

In the interest of serving the public good, we corrected the most glaring errors on the list to save daters from making a horrible mistake.

"Reporters have great 'B.S. radar.'"

Good journalists have a good "B.S. radar," but don't expect "honesty and transparency." When a politician's spokesperson emails you with a statement from his boss, you shouldn't think "oh, great, another honest and straightforward piece of information for my story." Journalists should be skeptical and suspicious, which doesn't exactly help a relationship.

"Reporters are usually self-employed and have flexible schedules."

If your journalist boyfriend is "self-employed," he is a freelancer who doesn't have a steady income. If he has a "flexible schedule" he's unemployed and/or independently wealthy. "More like 'reporters usually take cheap freelancing gigs to put SpaghettiOs on the table and have flexible drinking schedules,'" tweeted Poynter's Ren LaForme.

"You’ll be getting a great Scrabble partner."

Scrabble isn't a partners game. 

"Reporters meet deadlines."

Said no editor ever. In fact, "Hahahaahahahahahahahah," tweeted Vice's Harry Cheadle.

"Your date will always have interesting stories to tell."

Journalists are used to telling stories people don't read. Most people don't read past the headline. But if you really want to hear about the Mississippi Republican primary or the latest Medicaid enrollment numbers...

"Reporters get invitations to swanky events."

Yes, like press conferences.

"Your date will remember your birthday, the way you like your coffee, and that promise you made her last week. Your words will matter."

Your reporter significant other will still forget your birthday. Punditfact rated this claim false.

(Photo via michaeljung/Shutterstock.)

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.