Ahead of FIFA Hearing, Luis Suarez Swears He's Not Into Human Flesh

Uruguay's Luis Suarez has lawyered up ahead of a meeting with FIFA officials this afternoon. The striker is hoping to avoid being banned for the rest of the World Cup.

Uruguay's Luis Suarez has lawyered up ahead of a meeting with FIFA officials this afternoon. The striker, who pretty obviously bit Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini in a match on Tuesday, is hoping to avoid being banned for the rest of the World Cup. Uruguay, which beat Italy 1-0, has advanced to the knockout round and will face Colombia on Saturday, with or without their best player.

Suarez's lawyer, Alejandro Balbi, smells a conspiracy in the so-called manhunt:

We don't have any doubts that this has happened because it's Suarez and secondly because Italy was eliminated. There's a lot of pressure from England and Italy."

Suarez, true to form, denies that even gnawed a little bit on Chiellini, despite having clutched his teeth after their infamous collision. Here's what he said yesterday:

Those are situations that happen on the pitch. We were both just there inside the area. He shoved me with his shoulder, and my eye got left like that also," referring to the marks on Chiellini's shoulder. 

A FIFA spokeswoman said they plan on making a very quick decision.

While it's only been 24 hours since yesterday's match, the Suarez meme train continues to track its way across the internet with increasing sophistication.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing to emerge: The Suarez Pac-Man game. 

Be careful. It's addictive.