"This is the president trying to tell me what to do. He can’t do that, I’m the vice president of the United States," – Selina Meyer
How quickly everything comes back to earth. After spending last week shockingly competent, distracted by the wedding bliss, the Meyer staff was back to work in their usual fine form in "The Choice."
This week's episode started with turmoil inside the administration: the president announced he is no longer pro-choice and instead pro-life, and the Meyer team was thrown into upheaval trying to figure out exactly how the veep should respond. If she backs the president, it means she’s a traitor to her gender. If she remains pro-choice, she’s a traitor to the president, which as Selina herself points out, would make her a literal traitor.
The veep crew stuck to what they do best this week: they talked in circles, pissed a few people off, and in the end didn’t say much of anything. It’s just comforting to have these bumbling loons back to normal.
But which was the most bumbling? Let's look at the tape:
1. Dan Egan (Last week: 4)
You know how you ensure yourself the top spot on the Incompetency Index? You curse out your boss, the vice president of the United States. Such a week it was for Dan, who after puking his seasick guts out during the team’s late-night patrol with the Coast Guard, lost his cool trying to get Selina to nail down a cut-off week for abortion. After spewing so many f-bombs himself, he got one from Selina in return: "I accept your apology, while retaining the right to fire the fuck out of you." Sure, Selina and Amy conceded eventually that Dan was right and they did just have to "pick a fucking number," but Dan still comes out on top this week. Because he admitted to following Jonah on Twitter, and labeled himself an "abortionado." We’re not really sure which is worse.