In honor of March, the bracket-iest month of the year, The Wire decided to go all out and create a tournament for everything. Every weekday for the rest of the month, we're presenting a different tournament to determine the very best (or worst) thing in a given field. And we're doing it the way that God intended:Bracket showdowns.
We picked the field, but you vote for the winner. Fill out our interactive bracket, round-by-round, to determine the people's champion, then read through our choices to find out who we think is be the best of the best. Each day is a new champion!
We've all had fun this month deciding the best things in the universe. Votes were cast, allegiances pledged, offices torn apart — it has been a merry time. Sure, mistakes were made (like that time you voted Chicago the Best City in America), but that's what we get for putting this sort of thing to popular vote. Still, it is undeniable that our Bracket Madness™ has been a joyous gift to all the world:
But now you have to choose: Which of our brackets has been the best? You may, like us, cherish each and every one of them, but this month is not about spreading the love. There can only be one favorite. So we're pitting all of our previous brackets (minus the bracket to decide the Reader's Choice bracket, because we've given you people enough) against each other in a fight to the death. Which was your favorite? Best Twitter? Best Family Member? Best College? It's up to you.
Best City in America: We started off on the wrong foot. Everyone knows New York is the best city in not just America but the whole world. But it was the first, so it deserves some respect.
Best College: By far our most popular bracket by the metrics. There were good times (we got to see the Ivies go down early) and bad (Hampshire and William & Mary in the finals, seriously?).
Best Chicken: We made everybody hungry for lunch. It also marks the first time The Wire's winner aligned with the public's, so you guys deserve come credit.
Best Zodiac Sign: Things got personal and birthdays were discussed. Some say Leo was fated to win.
Best Fast Food: Everyone eats fast food, and everyone feels bad about it.
Best Fictional President: The best presidents are fake presidents.
Best Temperature: Everyone has the temperature at which they're most comfortable. For most of us, it isn't absolute zero.
Best Twitter: Seriously, the guy from Business Insider?
Best Drink: Was it wrong of us to do this bracket on St. Patrick's Day? Reminder: Gin and Tonic is the best drink.
Best Year: We stand by our decision to determine the quality of years in bracket form.
Best Sports Ball: Dogs and humans agree: tennis balls are the best balls.
Best TV Family: You voted for this in the Reader's Choice bracket. This was your own doing. And the Bluths won, because this is the internet.
Best Family Member: The most emotionally traumatizing bracket. Some brutal decisions. Who picked Mom over Dad?
Best Disney Movie: This bracket nearly brought The Wire to fisticuffs. We have the group chats to prove it.
Best Butt: Everybody has one, but some are just better than others.
Note: We had to exclude one dear bracket from our list. Though we loved basking in the glory of America's greatest actor, our Best Nic Cage Freakout bracket unfortunately did not make the cut.
Your Vote: Best Disney Movie
The Wire's Vote
Note: Seedings are based on the total vote count in each bracket. If you have a problem, blame yourselves.
Best College vs. Best Sports Ball: Tennis balls are versatile, but not as useful as a college degree. Winner: Best College
Best Fictional President vs. Best Family Member: One of these nearly put us in therapy. Guess which. Winner: Best Family Member
Best Twitter vs. Best Zodiac Sign: Superstition, or the best way to kill time at work? Winner: Best Twitter
Best Drink vs. Best Temperature: The best way to beat the heat? With a cold, refreshing drink. The best way to warm up? With a nice mug of something hot. Winner: Best Drink
Best Disney Movie vs. Best Year: One of these gave us insight to how the next global conflict will start. The other voted 1969 the Best Year in history. Winner: Best Disney Movie
Best City in America vs. Best Chicken: Best chicken was our first "weird" bracket. Winner: Best Chicken
Best Fast Food vs. Best Dinosaur: Sure, Best Dino was informative and scientific, but Best Fast Food made us pledge allegiance to major corporations. Winner: Best Fast Food
Best TV Family vs. Best Butt: It'd be weird if we combined these two and had you to vote on Best TV Family Butt. Something tells us voting would've gone a bit differently. Winner: Best Butt
Best College vs. Best Family Member: College is important, and our most voted-in bracket, but Best Family Member caused us great emotional strife. UPSET TIME. Winner: Best Family Member
Best Twitter vs. Best Drink: We don't recommend combining these two. Twitter wins, because it's more acceptable to do in public. Winner: Best Twitter
Best Disney Movie vs. Best Chicken: Seriously, things were said during the discussion of Best Disney Movie that can never be forgiven. Winner: Best Disney Movie
Best Fast Food vs. Best Butt: Fast food does things to butts, so this is a fitting match-up. But let's be honest, voting for our favorite butts was way more fun than voting for Chipotle. Winner: Best Butt
The Final Four
Best Family Member vs. Best Twitter: You all have poor taste in Twitter follows. Best Family Member asked the tough questions, like "Who's better: Sister or The Dog?" Winner: Best Family Member
Best Disney Movie vs. Best Butt: Best Butt was fun and all, but Best Disney Movie brought out the worst in everyone we know. Winner: Best Disney Movie
Best Family Member vs. Best Disney Movie: Perhaps the two toughest questions we asked this month. Is it a coincidence that both came during the final week? Probably. Having to pick Mom over Dad made us squirm, but nothing turned friends on each other faster than a disagreement over the merits of Beauty and the Beast. Winner: Best Disney Movie
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
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