A Viewer's Guide to Weekend Movies: How Do You Like Your '80s?

Hollywood's trying to pry your eyes away from the Olympics in the only way it knows how. With 1980s remakes by the bucketful!  

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Hollywood's trying to pry your eyes away from the Olympics in the only way it knows how. With 1980s remakes by the bucketful!  And also with a highly anticipated Netflix streaming release, fine. But about those '80s remakes ...

In Theaters

Three of them! You can basically pick and choose which one speaks to your Valentine's Weekend needs. Fans of the Alex Pettyfer as America's foremost punchable heartthrob will want to line up for Endless Loveeven though this remake does NOT offer a re-recording of the Oscar-nominated title song, originally sung by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. If you feel like punishing the remake for this by not seeing it, you're within your rights to do so. Your other, better-reviewed romantic remake option is About Last Nightbased on the Rob Lowe-Demi Moore film about a one-night stand that becomes something more. It stars television familiars Michael Ealy (Almost Human) and Joy Bryant (Parenthood) but more importantly Kevin Hart and Regina Hall, who are coming off of box-office successes Ride Along and The Best Man's Holiday, respectively. Two movies that caused box-office watchers to oooh and ahhh about how "black" movies were surprisingly drawing big audiences. Don't be fooled, this one could easily perform the best of this week's new movies.

Of course, there's also Winter's Tale, which is attracting the kind of rubbernecking attention that Razzies are made of. When even Peter Travers is calling your movie "pretentious twaddle," something went wrong. It's not like Robocop is lighting critical hearts on fire either, and it's certainly far from the subject matter of your typical Valentine's Day date movie, but you could do worse.

In Limited Release

Finally making it to the masses after playing the festivals in 2013 is Adult World, a sweet and surprisingly funny, the latter mostly due to the lead performance of Emma Roberts, whose ascendancy among young actresses has been a fits-and-starts kind of effort, but who delivers what may well be her best performance as a pretentious college student slumming it by working in a sex shop.

Video on Demand

Did you miss the sci-fi epic Ender's Game when it played theaters at the end of last year? That's okay, so did a lot of people. Now you can enjoy Harrison Ford's space-gruffness in the comfort of your own living room. The aforementioned "surprise" hit The Best Man Holiday is also available for at-home purchase. It's not great. It's not terrible. It'd probably go well with a glass of wine and the regret that comes with spending Valentine's Day home alone.

On the indie tip, you could go one of two very different directions. Knights of Badassdom is your geek's bonanza, an Evil Dead Goes LARP horror comedy starring familiar faces for the fanboy set like Peter Dinklage, Ryan Kwanten, Danny Pudi, and Summer Glau. And then there's Austenland, which if you think about it, is kind of a photonegative version of Knights of Badassdom, where instead of LARPing, it's a living Jane Austen retreat that attracts star Keri Russell. Make your choice, good viewer, and live with it. 

Streaming Online

I might direct you to the charming 1994 Paul Newman vehicle Nobody's Fool, or even something niche like The History of the WWE, but who's kidding who here? This is the weekend you're staying home and busting out as much of the second season of House of Cards as your Roku can handle. Here's hoping they can answer some of our many lingering questions.

Movies on TV

HBO's premiere movie on Saturday night is Gangster Squad, the movie so bad that not even Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling, and Emma Stone could make it a must-see. Over on Showtime, you can watch the biopic about one of history's greatest, most important figures in Lincoln on Friday night, then you can watch a film starring one of history's greatest, most important figures, Tyler Perry in Alex Cross, on Saturday night. Happy weekend!

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.