Today is Valentine's Day, usually known as the very best day for conservatives to finally take those feminists down a peg or two on the internet. As this year was no exception, we at The Wire have taken it upon ourselves to rank this year's feminist trolling. We have added Harry Potter gifs to each ranking, because Harry Potter Tumblrs are a happy place.
The Very Best
Get ready. The Wall Street Journal had "Princeton Mom" Susan Patton give some "straight talk," with the emphasis on straight, to all the smart ladies on Valentine's Day about finding husbands and therefore happiness. "For most of you," Patton advises all college women, "the cornerstone of your future happiness will be the man you marry." As a consolation to the fact that she is talking to "smart" women, Patton condescendingly appeals to their cognitive ability and asks them to "think about it:"
If you spend the first 10 years out of college focused entirely on building your career, when you finally get around to looking for a husband you'll be in your 30s, competing with women in their 20s. That's not a competition in which you're likely to fare well. If you want to have children, your biological clock will be ticking loud enough to ward off any potential suitors.
So, according to Patton, the happiness of all women has an enemy. That enemy is not men, nor is it her infantilizing assessment of the emotional maturity of men that, frankly, should be insulting to most males. No. Women (and men!) must accept accommodate her caveman stereotype, you see, for their own good. Instead, the enemy of happiness is feminism. Patton writes: "Not all women want marriage or motherhood, but if you do, you have to start listening to your gut and avoid falling for the P.C. feminist line that has misled so many young women for years." Do not listen to their lies. They are the ones. Stop them.