You Successfully Scared Anne Hathaway Into Hiding

Today in celebrity gossip: Anne Hathaway is well-aware of Anne Hathaway backlash, Selena Gomez says negative things about a certain ex-boyfriend, and also-ran boyband The Wanted break up.

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Today in celebrity gossip: Anne Hathaway is well-aware of Anne Hathaway backlash, Selena Gomez says negative things about a certain ex-boyfriend, and also-ran boyband The Wanted break up.

One day, as though in a high concept '80s movie, we all turned into teenage bullies. It didn't matter what high school clique we'd once belonged to for real: When we laid eyes on Anne Hathaway we all felt the need to take her lunch money and push her into a mud puddle. Was it because this frequently awkward, eager-to-please, grown-up theater kid represented something deep within ourselves that we didn't like? Or was there just some kind of latent misogyny, even among women, that turned the perfectly nice-seeming and talented woman into a widely ridiculed, even loathed, fixture of our worst intentions? Well, just because she's now an Oscar-winning, Golden Globe-owning, undeniable success story doesn't mean Anne Hathaway doesn't have feelings! In a recent interview with Huffington Post to promote her new Sundance indie Song One, the actress admitted she'd been intentionally avoiding the public eye this past year: "My impression is that people needed a break from me [laughs]." Oh man, that "[laughs]" part is the real killer. That is a "[laughs]" of utter pain, you guys. That "[laughs]" is a naked attempt to hold back the dark clouds. Nobody follows an admission of pariah status with "[laughs]" of serenity or happiness. That "[laughs]" was as much a cry for help as it was the saddest, most passive-aggressive outstretched index finger pointing at where Hathaway's hurt comes from. US. It comes from us. We did this. Can we ever make it up to Anne Hathaway? That's on us. In the meantime, come back, girl. Come hang. We're clearing a spot at the table for you. We wear pink on Wednesdays. Fetch, etc. [Jezebel]

Selena Gomez is one of the trickiest celebrities in existence. She's a very talented actress (no really, her comic timing on The Wizards of Waverly Place was unimpeachable; her naturalism in Spring Breakers was somehow both ironic and sincere), but her pop music career is just a lot of noise. Also there's the matter of her relationship with Justin Bieber which could charitably be chalked up to Gomez's savviness with publicity but could also suggest Gomez makes bad choices. Anyway, at this point nobody can deny she's still on an upswing career-wise and has had a downright productive and classy year compared to most of her peers. But that doesn't mean she's above getting frank about a certain ex-(?) boyfriend. As she recently told Seventeen, "I haven't found someone yet who could understand my lifestyle, support it, love me through it, and not be threatened by it." Um, that's what we in the business call a BURN. But to be real, Justin Bieber should be threatened by Gomez' career. He might be bigger at the moment, but she's still fulfilling her massive potential whereas he seems poised for ruination. (Full disclosure: I don't know what I'm talking about most of the time.) [Us Weekly]

Speaking of Justin Bieber (which we are legally obligated to do, all of us, every day), did you hear the one about Justin Bieber dropping nearly $75,000 in small bills at a Florida strip club? TMZ has now posted a rather remarkable photo of the scene in which the fallen boy prince stands atop a pile of cash sullenly surveying the seedy club. They also add that Bieber "handpicked 4 of his favorite strippers to keep him company with endless lap dances." ENDLESS. LAPDANCES. Sorry everybody, but that sounds like a nightmare to me. Do you think Justin Bieber is okay? There must certainly be bruising. His delicate bird bones can't take that kind of pummeling. Get well soon, Justin Bieber! [TMZ]

Another celebrity with a notable Selena Gomez connection is Lorde, the 17-year-old wunderkind who busted out of New Zealand with the Grammy-nominated megahit "Royals." A while back she slagged Selena Gomez's infectious yet terrible single "Come & Get It" as anti-feminist because it's about a woman's lack of agency or something (and to her credit, the admittedly bummed Gomez maintains she's still a Lorde fan). There was also a time when Lorde criticized Taylor Swift's aggressive perfection, "I don't think it's breeding anything good in young girls." But Swift didn't seem too mad about being called perfect and instead became fast friends with Lorde. Now the teenage singer and the teenage-wannabe singer are besties who text each other photos of antiques for second opinions: "Taylor's super-good at this stuff." Now you are completely up to date about Lorde's various non-feuds. [Us Weekly]

Have you heard of Madonna? She is a singer, a mother, a female bodybuilder, and also the star of The Next Best Thing. Have you heard of SoulCycle? It is like Scientology but with exercise bikes. Okay good, now we can get on with this story: Page Six reports that Madonna tends to be "perfectly behaved at the SoulCycle on the Upper East Side" but her entourage of "bodyguards and boyfriends" stand at the back and horse around when everybody's trying to transcend existence via cardio. "'It's distracting,'" explains Page Six's source. But in my opinion do you know what else is distracting? The swirling vortex of ghouls and grim reapers that hover above the cyclists just patiently waiting to feast on the souls of the near-dead. THAT is distracting, but SoulCycle hasn't said NOTHIN' about that. [Page Six]

You've only just become aware of One Direction within the past few weeks, so it's understandable if you still hadn't yet heard of The Wanted, the slightly older and sexed-up British boyband who never quite broke out in the States like their X-Factor spawned peers did. Well, any future enjoyment you may experience of The Wanted will now be posthumous. (The band died, not you. I hope? Are you a ghost? Be honest. I feel like a lot of ghosts read this, so consider this an informal poll: Are you a ghost? LMK). Anyway, via an official statement on the band's website, the five lads "have collectively decided to take time to pursue personal endeavours." (British people misspell tons of words.) But don't worry, The Wanted definitely won't all fade into obscurity like most broken-up boy bands. The Wanted are just five Justin Timberlakes in waiting. You'll see.

Anyway, in commemoration of The Wanted's breakup, please enjoy this photo of the band in better times, just sort of kicking back, being casual, and looking VERY chill:

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.