Surprise! There Is a New Beyoncé Album Out Right Now, This Very Second

RING THE ALARM RING THE ALARM RING THE ALARM

Beyoncé has a new album, and she launched it tonight just now, this very second. Surprise! Not really sure what else to write here. Watch the video she made announcing the self-titled album, and then we'll regroup. Okay? Okay.

Beyoncé's new album appeared on iTunes shortly after midnight on the East Coast. It is called BEYONCÉ, in all caps, because that is presumably how everyone will be tweeting about it. It is a visual album, meaning that each of the new tracks also features an accompanying video. That means 14 new Beyoncé videos, plus another 3. Wow, 17 new chances for Kanye to interrupt an awards show.

The album features guest spots from Frank Ocean, Drake, writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche, and Bey's husband, Jay Z. The last track, "Blue," features a guest performance by Blue Ivy.

There's some slight bummer news tucked in here: the album is exclusive to iTunes. Those of you who have transitioned to listening to music in [spirit fingers] The Cloud, on services like Spotify and Rdio, are out of luck for now.

oh my god it's oh my god so real

— Choire (@Choire) December 13, 2013

just bought an album for the first time in years, years, this is fascinating

— Shani O. Hilton (@shani_o) December 13, 2013

The Golden Globes are adding these Bey videos to the nominations tomorrow, right?

— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) December 13, 2013

I will never in my life experience more Houston pride than hearing Bey start this album with a Third Ward shout out

— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) December 13, 2013

RT if you are weeping for new bey

— Emma Carmichael (@emmacargo) December 13, 2013

Remember this night. Remember it so that in fifty years, you'll know how to answer when your grandchildren ask, "Where were you when the new Beyoncé album dropped?"