Today in celebrity gossip: Everyone's second-favorite member of Destiny's Child experienced a life-changing moment via Wi-Fi, Miley Cyrus' family has started a YouTube channel, and Target declines to sell the new Beyoncé album.
The Artist Presently Known as Beyoncé has had a BIG few days (don't worry, we'll be talking about her again in a second), but let's do a nice thing for Kelly Rowland and talk about her big news first. As we all know, the former Destiny's Child had a rough summer during which she was nearly eaten by whales, but now it seems congratulations are in order as she is officially engaged to be married! Except, what's this? Her fella proposed over Skype? You know what, that's probably fine. We all have different ideas about what romance means or what kind of romantic gestures we'd like to experience. Who are we to judge? Maybe Kelly Rowland has always dreamed about having her life changed via webcam. They were probably in a hurry to get this love train rolling! But, oh: He proposed years ago. Okay, well, some joys are meant to be kept private, sure. We can't all be flaunting our emotional wares in public all the time, especially when we're attempting to step out from the shadows of peers who have rocketed past us in nearly every conceivable way. Except, okay, Kelly Rowland announced the engagement with the phrase "He put a ring on it." Um, is there ANY part of this story that isn't somehow slightly depressing? Ooh, maybe this: Kelly Rowland discussed this engagement on The Queen Latifah Show, so the fact that The Queen Latifah Show is still on the air is a good thing, right? Man, I don't know. [E! Online]
ENOUGH OF THIS, BACK TO BEYONCÉ. As everyone knows, Beyoncé nearly broke the world when she released a surprise, iTunes-exclusive album last Thursday night. It's obviously gone on to smash all kinds of sales records, confirming at the very least that someone with Beyoncé's level of star-power and talent needs no publicity machine nor even pre-release awareness to move records. But like a triflin' hater refusing to bow down, Target has gone on record saying it won't carry BEYONCÉ. Um, no duh, Target. That's what "iTunes-exclusive" means. Don't go issuing press releases claiming you won't be attending a party you were never invited to in the first place. And let's be real: if Beyoncé eventually DOES want her album sold at Target it will be sold at Target. That's how the world works now. [E! Online]
This is charming: In one of the videos packaged as part of this, Beyoncé's "visual album," an old Star Search clip featuring Beyoncé's childhood pop-group Girls Tyme plays before the video kicks into the modern-day jam "Flawless". But in that brief snippet, another band called Skeleton Crew (think a slightly less appealing Color Me Badd) is shown beating out Girls Tyme for the Star Search crown, and now, in 2013, the members of Skeleton Crew seem to believe this newfound mega-exposure will catapult their band into some kind of modern day relevancy. Charming, right? But give credit to Skeleton Crew: They're still together 20 years later? Not even Girls Tyme managed that! So yeah, keep at it, fellas. Maybe it really is your time now. (Did any of you guys get engaged over Skype?) [TMZ]
Clips 'n snippets have begun trickling out from Miley Cyrus' interview for Barbara Walters' The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2013 special, and the erstwhile publicity sorceress continues to confound by saying legitimately insightful things (when not tongue-kissing ghosts, or whatever she's been doing on stage lately). In this case, she admitted that her too-young, now-dissolved engagement to Liam Hemsworth was perhaps immature: "I don’t think I realized what 19 truly is." Since the breakup she's also attempted to outgrow her former co-dependence issues and her fear of being alone, which means she's already wiser than most of us? But yeah, in a world where gossip cycles demand that young female celebrities be constantly dating and/or engaged, doesn't it seem refreshing to see Miley Cyrus embrace self-improvement over a fairy tale ending? Look, let's not fight about this. At least she hasn't started a new YouTube channel like the rest of her family did. Because yes, the Cyrus clan (including father Billy Ray, mother Tish, brother Trace, and sisters Brandi and Noah have started Seriously Cyrus, a channel in which each of them hosts a weekly show of some kind. While it's not yet clear if Miley Cyrus will be participating in this bizarre family activity, it is pretty clear she'll probably finally, for the first time this year, experience real embarrassment because of it. [Page Six, Daily Mail]
Speaking of surprising thoughtfulness in the face of lurid publicity: By now you may have heard that 21-year-old Dylan Sprouse, former toddler to Adam Sandler in Big Daddy and later star of the Disney Channel's The Suite Life with Zack and Cody, had some nude selfies leak onto the internet over the weekend. But instead of pulling the usual celebrity shenanigans of claiming he was hacked or that the images were fakes, he owned up to it immediately and, in a thoughtful tumblr post about it [Note: NSFW], explained the circumstances of how this happened, what kind of impact this might have on his life, and his generally good humored take on the whole thing. It's honestly worth a read! Of course, the elephant in the room is that this sort of thing is easier for a male star to shrug off than a female one, but still. Sometimes it's good to be a little more blasé about embarrassing things, right? Seems like a good policy in general. (Also, he got a few hundred thousand more Twitter followers out of it, so, um. Lesson learned?) [Us Magazine]
Prince Harry, Alexander Skarsgard, and Dominic West walk into a bar in Antarctica. The bartender says, 'Get out of here, you all smell terrible.' I forget the rest. [Radar Online]
Finally, this is either highly embarrassing or highly entertaining, depending on your fondness for schadenfreude. It seems during a recent appearance on French awards show the NRJ Music Awards, Katy Perry's backing track started a few measures too early and she came out "singing" completely out of sync before the host had to march onstage and ask her to start over. On the one hand, it shouldn't shock anyone to know that most live performances are mostly just backing tracks mixed above the vocals, (don't say "lip synching"!), but the clip (embedded below) shows just how complicated live performance can seem, even for someone as professional as Perry. [E! Online]
Anyway, yeah. Ouch:
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