What to Watch (That's Not Football) on Thanksgiving

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Tomorrow's Thanksgiving—in case you didn't know—and if you have a desire to sit in front of the TV all day, but no desire to watch football, we've got you covered. 

9 a.m. You'll watch the Macy's Thankgiving Day Parade because of course you'll watch the Macy's Thankgiving Day Parade, even if wind might interfere with the proceedings. Really, it's what you were planning to do all along. You enjoy watching pop stars—some of whomyou have never heard of—awkwardly lip sync next to puppets. It brings you a strange joy. (Plus Ariana Grande, pictured right, will be there, and she's been killing it as of late.) The parade wastes a good three hours of your time, when you're too lazy to do anything else. It's on NBC, but CBS also has unauthorized coverage, which you can watch if you want to be a rebel or something.

12 p.m. Okay, now you have to make a choice. One option is sticking with NBC and watch the National Dog Show. It's not Westminster or anything, but it's a chance to coo over cute dogs. Why would you pass up that chance? But, if you've already overdosed on cute, AMC is showing The Godfather, starting at 11:30 a.m., so they've got you covered. 

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2 p.m. You're in luck: it's actually a Godfather marathon. So even if you watched the dog show you can finish up The Godfather and head straight into The Godfather: Part II. That's a really long movie so it will keep you occupied during a period of time when you probably should be eating dinner. If you'd rather something, well, lighter Bravo's playing rom coms along the lines of Something's Gotta Give at 2 p.m., followed by Legally Blonde, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Also, ABC Family is playing Harry Potter movies starting at 1 p.m. with The Prisoner of Azkaban, the one directed by Alfonso Cuarón.

8 p.m. A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on ABC. Why wouldn't you watch Charlie Brown and the gang? Well, you might be persuaded to change your mind if your run across Punkin Chunkin on Science. It's a pumpkin launching contest. So, yeah. 

9:30 p.m. This is where things get tricky, folks. Do you or do you not watch Lady Gaga's Muppet holiday special? Here's the thing: you love the Muppets but you aren't so keen on Lady ARTPOP these days. Eh. So you probably watch it. You're full. You're tired. What else do you have to do? You'll probably fall asleep anyway.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.