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I know you're sick of Justin Bieber news, but don't worry, this is the last Justin Bieber news you'll hear, because I'm pretty sure he's about to be eaten by piranhas or something. South America is trying to kill Justin Bieber, and it is doing a pretty good job. There's been the bottle throwing, the brothel incident, the videotaped-while-sleeping fiasco, the getting kicked out of his hotel, the food poisoning. And now, a booing. He got booed off stage. Or, rather, he got booed while leaving the stage, because of food poisoning. He tried to perform a concert in Buenos Aires on Sunday night, but he walked off after an hour, saying "I’m not feeling too good, I think I’m out of energy." Poor thing. He posted a selfie (Page Six puts "selfie" in quotes) that day of himself with an IV drip, so I guess he really was ill. His manager, the augustly named Scooter Braun, came to Bieber's defense after the cut-short concert, saying that Bieber "handled it like a man who cares and put his beliebers before himself. very proud. he will be back!" Which, fine, nice that Scooter Braun is looking out for his boy, excuse me his man, but I don't know that Justin Bieber will be back. I don't know if he's going to make it out of South America. That continent, that fearsome jungle place, is trying to kill him. Some dark force beating like a terrible heart in the center of the Amazon is trying to kill him. Or maybe it's a power coming from the lost lands of Tierra del Fuego, emanating up the spine of Chile and then out across the pampas. Wherever it is coming from — Easter Island, mysterious corners of Montevideo — something is conspiring against Justin Bieber. I'd recommend you say your goodbyes now. [Page Six]
Meanwhile, back in North America, it is Anne Hathaway's birthday! The Academy Award-winning actress turns 31 years young today and had a b-day dinner this past weekend, with about 40 people showing up to Crossroads in West Hollywood for a cozy dinner of "salads and appetizers." Well, there were salads and appetizers, Us Weekly breathlessly reports, but I assume there were also entrees. Maybe even dessert. The only famous guest mentioned is Amy Adams, but I'm sure there were others. Still, it's interesting, and informative, instructive even, to know that Anne Hathaway and Amy Adams are friends. Isn't it? Doesn't that kind of say something about both of them? That they would seek each other out across all those crowded rooms full of the glittery rich and famous? It makes sense, in a way, doesn't it? That they would see same in same. Or complements. Or something. Anne Hathaway and Amy Adams. I get it. I do. [Us Weekly]