Kim Kardashian's Charity Auction Isn't Giving Much to Charity

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Oh dear. Kim Kardashian, a Mattel experiment gone horribly awry, has decided to sell some of her old clothes on eBay, because why not, and donate some of the profits to the hurricane relief efforts in the Philippines. Which is great! Only, as the Daily Mail points out, she's only donating ten percent. Yeah. Not the whole amount. Just ten percent. Because, I guess, the other ninety percent has to go to...? Kim Kardashian is a very rich woman! I don't really understand why she needs the couple thousand dollars her little eBay sale is going to earn her. It just seems odd. Yeah, yeah, it's crappy that she's only giving ten percent to charity, and I suppose that's the real story here, but mostly I'm curious as to why she's doing the thing in the first place. Like, why sell the clothes on eBay? Is it really for the little bit of attention that the charity tie-in gets her? Hasn't she had plenty of attention recently? I honestly think that she's selling her clothes on eBay just to sell her clothes on eBay. The lady will earn a buck wherever she can earn a buck. And while she's a dodo bird who's never had one interesting thing to say, I find this aspect of her respectable in some odd way. The lady's been at work 24/7/365 for like years now. No gig is too big or too small. Sure she'll stage an elaborate sham wedding for television. And sure she'll throw some old shit in a garbage bag and hawk it on the Internet. Why not? Dollar bill is a dollar bill. And Kim Kardashian wants a dollar bill. [Daily Mail]

Oh! And, ha, speaking of: Kim and her fiance Kanye West are considering filming their wedding and airing it on television. The idea wouldn't be to invite a TV network to their ceremony, which is being held at the VFW hall in Gardena, but rather to film the festivities themselves and then sell that ish to a network. So they're taking a home movie and then asking television networks if they would like to air that home movie. Which is not something you or I could do, because who on earth would buy such a thing, but they can. They can definitely do that. And they are considering doing that. Because A) Attention and B) Dollar bills! What did I just tell you about Kim Kardashian and dollar bills? She likes them. She wants them. And she will earn them any way she can. So if she needs to sell another wedding, you'd better believe that she will sell that wedding. The lady is unstoppable in her pursuit of dollar bills. That's all she wants. So give them too her. Dollar bills. That's what she wants. [Us Weekly]

Jessica Chastain says that she would pose nude, but not for Playboy. So... for Penthouse? Is that what she means? Who knows! But at least we know that she won't do Playboy. Jessica Chastain won't do Playboy, folks. So, put that conversation to bed, OK? [TMZ]

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