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On November 9th, all some eyes will turn to Moscow, where the next Miss Universe will be crowned. But the best part of the competition is happening right now, during the its storied national costume show, a time-honored tradition where some of most gorgeous women on the planet are forced to wear silly outfits and smile. The costumes are supposed to show national pride and embody the spirit of the country these women are representing. They are also hilarious, because sometimes nothing says America than a skin-baring cowgirl with superhero gloves:

The woman with flat abs and a boatload of internal strife pictured above is 2001 Miss USA Kandace Krueger. Since then, the costumes have gotten even more elaborate ... which is why we decided to come up with a quiz designed to delight and bedevil even the most geographically-aware of nerds.  We'll show you the national costume, you tell us what country the contestant is from. 

We'll start off easy. We are pretty sure Michael Bay is sitting somewhere in Malibu smoking a cigarette after this gem:


"And they said nothing would ever top my quinceañera. Believe in dreams children."

Amazon is not a country.  

"Mama, I am cold."

"Tonight we will defeat Optimus Prime." 

"Giraffes y'all." 

"Come to my country. We eat dreams. And drag queens." 

Tulips. These are tulips.  

"I have no idea what I'm wearing or what kind of weather dictates this outfit." 

"Priscilla Queen of the Desert affected my country in ways you will never understand." 

"In my country, we burn pantsuits."  

"In my country, we use real peacock feathers."

"I win."



Answers: Miss USA ; Miss Venezuela; Miss Sweden; Miss Russia; Miss Trinidad and Tobago; Miss Tanzania; Miss Panama;Miss Netherlands; Miss Mauritius; Miss Jamaica; Miss Indonesia, Miss Honduras; Miss Brazil

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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